Long time no blog ...

No, I haven't had writer's block, but I guess I've had blogger's block, because in looking at my last entry I haven't left a message here since the summer. I have been busy with a new bouncing baby boy and have also "birthed" a book. Due to be released soon is an art/poetry book called Land and Sea: Poetry Inspired by Art which I collaborated on with artist Irene Ruddock. We started working on it a year ago and it has materialized into a full-fledged book! For more information about the book's release, please visit my website: http://www.firkinfiction.com and to learn more about Irene Ruddock's beautiful paintings, you can visit her website: http://www.ireneruddock.com.

Now that my shameless self-promotion is done with, I can reflect on what really matters - writing, ideas for writing, the art of writing, why I write, why I don't write, why I take up space here writing really long sentences because I can. I think this is what I love most about a blog - as a writer I can be informal and share what really goes on inside a writer's head. I think one of the most honest portrayals of a writer's insecurities and obesessions is when Nicholas Cage's character in the film Adaptation has his monologue at the beginning. I'm sure imdb.com has the whole speech written out (but don't hold me to that). Nicholas Cage talks about his dream for being the fit, well-travelled, nobel-prize winning, attractive, accomplished, philanthropist writer and how this will make him a happier, better person somehow. He sits before a blank screen and daydreams about all of the things he should be doing or could be doing. In reality, he should be putting fingers to keys, but instead he beats himself up over all of the qualities he is lacking.

OK, I couldn't help but do a search on IMDB for that opening sequence. For all of the writers reading this, you will laugh and identify with these thoughts I'm sure!

FROM THE FILM: ADAPTATION (2002)
Directed by
Spike Jonze

Writing credits (WGA)
Susan Orlean (book)
Charlie Kaufman (screenplay)

first lines]
Charlie Kaufman: [voiceover] "Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier my hair wouldn't be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliché. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things off I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more and prove myself. What if I learned Russian or something, or took up an instrument. I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that. Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive. But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's going to change that."

Well, I will close with those thoughts for now. I do not have writer's block, but I do have two small children under the age of 3 who seem to eat away at any time I might have to write. So why am I here contemplating my writer's navel when I should be churning out some polished firkin fiction. Well, that will have to wait for another entry.

CMRN